Dear Abby G C G Dear Abby, Dear Abby; My feet are too long, D My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong. G C G My friends they all tell me I've no friends at all, D G Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call. C D G Signed, Bewildered. G C G Chorus: Bewildered,bewildered you have no complaint, D You are what you are and you aint what you aint. G C G So listen up buster and listen up good, D G Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood. C D G Signed, Dear Abby. G C G Dear Abby,Dear Abby, my fountain pen leaks. D My wife hollars at me and my kids are all freaks. G C G Every side I get up is the wrong side of bed, D G If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead. C D G Signed, Unhappy. G C G cho: Unhappy,Unhappy, you have no complaint ... G C G Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this, D But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss. G C G My girlfriend tells me its all in my head, D G But my stomach tells me to write you instead. C D G G Signed, Noise-maker. (cho: Noise-maker,Noise-maker, ...) G C G Dear Abby, Dear Abby, I never'd have thought, D That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught. G C G We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze, D G With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees. C D G G Signed, Just Married. (cho: Just Married, Just Married, ...)